Castle Calliope
Part of the Sex Bandwagon. Lord's Castle, 8 Myrmidons, manned by 90.
The hex that surrounds the Castle Calliope is overgrown, flush with monsters (though there are no toads), and starved of attention. The soil is good, should any would-be agriculturalist sample it. The rocks that white the waters of the nearby river are visible from the walls of the castle.
The approach has been left abandoned, unused and forgotten, for some time. The cobbles have collapsed, running this way under hard rains and that way beneath the pressure of a crawling vine. The vine's name is Luchre's Kiss and it is said to serve as a love potion when its roots are ground and brewed as tea.
A mere two hours march along the conquered road brings one to the gardens; massive sunflowers and vegetables looking small against the high walls of the battered castle. Battered is no understatement. Deep gashes lie across her walls, looked over by masons long ago and deemed superficial, and one of her corner towers has crumbled completely. There are 90 white flags, clear and bright against the rubble, that prickle the ruins. Beneath each is a skeleton in rusted armor. 45 are unarmed.
The castle gates are shut and will permit no visitor. No entourage emerges from this castle to challenge passerby to joust. The portcullis is wrought with nude women interlinking hands and struggling to keep themselves together. Rust has won the battle against them. Rot has won the war on the door behind it. The gates give way when forced.
The main keep (the other buildings lay ruined by neglect) is partitioned vertically into 9 sections, like a tic-tac-toe board. These are numbered, beginning from the bottommost row, center column, and proceeding counter-clockwise. The center square, heart of the keep and quarters of the Lord Calliope, is labeled 9.
Among the ruins plays a scar-covered young girl, the Myrmidon Telemachus. She wields a wooden sword named Splinter and leaps from rock to rubble and back again. She has never thought of love or sex and prefers the company of toads to men, who "always mope and grope" according to her mothers. She isn't sure which among them is her favorite.
Telemachus contains within herself a terrible destiny. Should she reach age, his-once-her mind will turn towards the same love as the Lord Calliope, and she has the means to get all he had and more. For now, though, she is content to lance frogs in the ruins of her parents.
Telemachus: HD 6, AC 9. Wields Splinter. Those cut with Splinter slowly turn to stone over the course of 2d6 days. The effects may be reversed by true love's kiss. Toad's blood makes a good substitute.
The Keep
1.
The entrance to the keep is dusty and quiet save for the clinking grunts and pirouettes of the Myrmidon Elyrio. She fell in love with the lord in the heat of the melee, passion and fury spent in a conflict for the lifeblood of your partner. She nor he remembers whether they were friend or foe. Their love was primal, more fight than fuck. One of Elyrio's breasts has scars of the Lord's teeth around the areola. She wears it naked in pride. To love, she has invented a new style of swordplay, named Callicote. The style is practiced with a small rapier, held by the pommel with the fingertips. It is daring, skillful, and utterly uninteresting to the Lord Calliope.
Sword-scratched doors lead eventually to Rooms 2 and 8.
2.
A great library stuffed into the ruined halls of Castle Calliope. A Sage of magic's library, by its contents. Now, only the Myrmidon Odysseus. She snuck in long ago, donning the disguise of Lord Calliope's Court Wizard, and was seduced before she could perform her duty (murder, naturally). Their love was secretive, taken in the winding staircase of the keep, in the hay of the Lord Calliope's horses, in the gardens beneath the shade of a sunflower. Odysseus gripped the lord tightly, in those moments afraid of nobody, and was caught even still beneath a greater fleece of love. Her greatest trick, she confides, was in leaving him dozing in those complicated rendezvouses and slipping away to her duties. To love, she lives in ambush. In the dark halls, the closets of the other Myrmidons, the ceiling above the door to his chamber. He is never caught.
3.
A greenhouse, squeezed into a tight stone chamber with an artificial sun in the ceiling. Plants grow like carpet and wallpaper and paint. Among them is the Myrmidon Jack. She fell in love with the Lord Calliope in his arms, having fallen many hexes from her beanstalk in the clouds. Their love was proud, even free. Jack would wait to be taken in public, among the servants, or clamber upon the feast table in holiday and demand satisfaction. The lord was eager to please. Burns from an unfortunately placed candle run the length of Jack's forearm. To love, she publicizes. Sings lustful songs beneath the lord's window, quarrels with the other Myrmidons, satisfies them outside the Lord's chamber. He never answers her challenge. There is no longer a public to scandalize.
vine-covered doors lead to 4 and 2.
4.
A plain bedroom, fit for a queen. The Myrmidon Henry lives here. Henry never fell in love with the Lord Calliope. They fit well, the pair united separate families, produced healthy children, and performed the roles of their station fluidly together. Their love was scheduled, matching the moons. She was never late (until she was meant to be) and he never arrived before he should have. A spectator, in the latter days another Myrmidon, chaperoned the conjugation. All went as it ought have. To love, Henry does as she is told. Attend feasts, order the castle, bring lovers to the Lord Calliope's Chamber. She no longer receives orders and so does nothing. This pleases her. He has forgotten her.
well-preserved doors lead eventually to 5 and 3.
5.
The hallway outside the Lord's Chamber. The door is still solid.
hallways lead eventually to 6, 4, and 9.
6.
A nursery, cradles and beds for children guarded by a horde of toys. The Myrmidon Prometheus lives here. They fell in love at birth, siblings in day and year but not parentage. The people of the Castle Calliope called them Sister Souls, and their firsts were shared with one another as was always going to be the case. Their love was motherly. Prometheus opened herself to him and he came, from the brink of death and from the depths of despair, to seek her shelter. When he was weak and sick, she enveloped him, taking his broken form and building it into who she knew it to be before tragedy struck. To love, she waits. Watches the horizon for news that might rouse him from his slumber. She watches his door, for the slightest sound of sickness. She watches the sun, wishing he would return to her. How much he has changed since he was a boy, she will never know.
animal-covered doors lead to 7 and 5.
7.
Glassware and countertop bisect this room in half and half again, distorting the true bounds. Hiding in a large glass jar is the Myrmidon Jekyll. She fell in love with the Lord Calliope through intellect, working his mind within hers and discovering new wrinkles with each passing conversation. Their love was scientific. A dram here, a dollop there wrings from the suspended body aught ampules of ecstasy. Hypotheses and theories tested, debated, refuted, syncretized in an exultation of method and madness. To love, Jekyll runs tests. This potion and that panacea, this draught and that concoction. Her recent experiments have turned to herbology without success; there is no love wrung from herbal tea.
Sterilized doors lead to 8 and 6.
8.
A kitchen, married to a pantry full of rotting food, languishes here in an old corner of the keep, overseen only by the Myrmidon Ramsey. She fell in love with the Lord Calliope at the end of a fork, watching his eyes light up in the throes of consumption. Their love was crafty, always iterating. A new technique here and a confirmation of mastery there. A certain simplicity of training brought them both closer to the precipice of perfection. To love, she practices. Cutting airy carrots with an imaginary knife, kneading oneiric dough with faux-gloved hands. None of the Castle Calliope needs to eat anymore but she practices anyway. Her efforts are never appreciated.
Doors once dusted with flower lead to 1 and 7.
9.
The Lord Calliope reclines on a large bed, one leg missing a large splinter, reading an illuminated manuscript. Strewn across the bed are 6 fine dresses fit for a child worth 60,000gp in total. Above the bed hang gem-crusted hammers and swords whose gilded sharpness cuts a value of 30,000gp. Beside his bed tower a pile of beautiful books worth 20,000gp. At the peak of this literary mountain lies a small glass terrarium containing the seed of a magic beanstalk, worth 100,000gp. His banner, a black stag rearing its antlers against gold, fetches 10,000gp to those who know the Lord. He wears a necklace which depicts two children locked in a desperate hug that protects him from the effects of mind-altering magic and Sleep. It is worth 10,000gp. Stuffed beneath the bedframe are implements of science which fetch 5,000gp. in his stomach, undigested, is a gourmet meal, worth 5,000gp if recreated.
Lord Calliope has taken what belongs to him and lies in revelry at the power he has provided himself. His Myrmidons fight to the death to protect him and will never flee unless their possessions are returned. Their worth is tied to him and he owns everything they give value, his flesh and mind and immortal soul. To him, they were means to the end Lord Calliope now occupies. If he is slain, all living Myrmidons save Telemachus are demoted to Veterans.
While its nobility still lives, naught one need eat or drink or sleep; Love sustains the Castle Calliope.
To love, the Lord Calliope dreams of conquest and accrual. He does not, cannot love anything else.